I don't know how I can even remember the things I talk about here.
In addition to that, I don't like using the depression and imbalance forum, because I'm so tired of people posting replies for points, as if points mean anything to me.
Ever since I managed to let go of what I used to talk about. I've only been left with this constant empty feeling. Just a feeling of absolute nothingness.
I keep thinking, Now what? How the fuck am I supposed to be happy, because people want me to be happy?
I can't do that.  I can't suddenly become like I used to be.
Just because you (no one on livewire, someone else)
tell me that you think I should forget all of my past and look toward the future, when I see nothing but my own suicide in the future doesn't help at all. Where were you when I needed you next to me? Nowhere to be found.
So I got sick and tired of being ignored.
I detached myself from everything at that point.
Then you came around after I had been this way for a while, I found it difficult to speak to you because my mind kept saying, "Look who's come back, the same one who abandoned you, just like everybody else did, she forgot about you, just like everyone else did, She doesn't care about you, Don't be fooled, keep your responses short and express no fucking emotions"
So I did.
Then later on after that happened while I was sitting in my room, I just broke out in crying fits. I sat on the floor exhausted from crying so much that I just rocked back forth and made low groaning noises. But I put the fan on high and the TV fairly loud so no one would come into my room, thinking I was just watching television.
I'll say more in the ehelp, if I manage to make one.